Funny Sayings

Short Friendship Quotes >>

Here is our collection of funny sayings

"A fall into a ditch makes you wiser."

- Chinese Proverb

"If you don't know where you are going, you will wind up somewhere else!"

- Yogi Berra

"Experience is a comb which nature gives us when we are bald."

- Chinese Proverb

"A bird in hand is safer than one overhead."

- Unkown

"Always borrow money from a pessimist; he doesn't expect to be paid back."

- Unkown

"Start every day off with a smile and get it over with."

- W.C. Fields

"Better a witty fool than a foolish wit."

- Shakespeare

"The average person thinks he isn't."

- Father Larry Lorenzoni

"For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program."

- Bob Wells

"If you can't convince them, confuse them."

- Harry Truman

"God does not play dice with the universe."

- Albert Einstein

"There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full."

- Unknown

"His mouth is a no-go area. It's like kissing the Berlin Wall."

- Helena Bonhem

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."

- Mae West

"A critic is a legless man who teaches running."

- Channing Pollock

Comments

JOJO (05/10/12)

FOLLOW YOUR HEAD IT HURTS LESS THAN YOUR HEART WHEN IT BREAKS

Tony Rawlinson (01/17/12)

I shook my family tree and a bunch of nuts fell out.

unknown (12/ 2/11)

Lifes a b**** then you merry one!

Tony Rawlinson (09/ 2/11)

Rednecks Famous Words: Hold My Beer & Watch This.

Tony Rawlinson (09/ 2/11)

I don't skinny dip. I chunky dunk.

Tony Rawlinson (09/ 2/11)

When I die bury me near Walmart so my wife will visit me.

Tony Rawlinson (09/ 2/11)

Here's to our wives and girlfriends. May they never meet.

liz mcdonald (08/19/11)

bury me face down so every one can kiss my ass

Tony Rawlinson (08/10/11)

Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.

Tony Rawlinson (08/10/11)

I'm the boss in my house! My wife is just the decission maker.

Tony Rawlinson (08/10/11)

Welcome to poop creek. Sorry, we're out of paddles.

Tony Rawlinson (08/10/11)

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

Tony Rawlinson (08/10/11)

I'd like to drown my troubles. But I can't get my wife to go swimming.

Elenor (05/25/11)

those who throttle run the risk

ruth (03/ 4/11)

the future belongs to those who prepare for it

ruth (03/ 4/11)

if you dnt plan for the future then you are playing with the future

ruth (03/ 4/11)

health is wealth

We hope you enjoyed our collection of funny sayings. If there are any funny sayings that you would like us to add, or any funny sayings that you think we should remove, please send us an email.

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